How would you know if your boyfriend is the one? Incredible romantics would say “you would just know”. However, it is not as simple as that. You need a more solid proof or further indication to back that up else you could end up either becoming a playgirl switching lovers the way you switch clothes daily or worse, being an old maid, hopelessly waiting for that one non-existent guy to sweep you off your feet. Here are six (6) signs to guide you in telling if he’s the one.
- There’s friendship. What constitute friendship? Respect, honesty, faith, loyalty, and support. You have your own differences yet have mutual respect. You give and receive tough love and understand that honesty is a must. You trust and believe in one another. You are both loyal even in the middle of disagreements and challenges. You are there to stand by, defend, protect and support the other when needed. Just like a best friend, your family, loved ones and circle of friends agree that he brings out the best in you and vice versa.
- There’s mutual attraction. That sizzling chemistry is ever present. You feel pheromones at work every time you’re together. You find your scents irresistible – you with his aftershave, him with your pheromone cologne, even natural sweat. The movements, the manner of talking pull you closer to one another. There’s a thirst to know anything and everything – good, bad, ugly.
- Love never ceases and maturity grows. It gets stronger as each day passes by. Everyday, you find different reasons to love and fall in love. Regardless if you had a big fight a few minutes ago and had a shouting match, you are both matured and secured as individuals to welcome it as an added spice in the relationship and consider it normal as breathing itself.
- Words are not necessary. One quick look at his face and you know what’s he’s undergoing. It’s similar for him when he sees you. It’s like being part of each other that you fully understand what it’s like without uttering a word. You’re comfortable with your spaces. You can sit in silence for an hour without talking nor touching and still think that it’s the most special moment you shared. This signifies how at ease you are with the company of the other that spending a lifetime is not scary at all but instead, something to look forward to.
- Flaws and fine points are not separate and seen as one. You accept him for what he is and he does too to you. You are yourself. You don’t need to wear make up and take super pains to appear pretty just so to impress him. He doesn’t have to be really cool and sexy to capture and maintain your interest. You’re still perfect in his eyes as he is to you. You’ve seen the worst of each other and you don’t mind a bit.
- You have the same goals and dreams. You want the same things in life. It all goes down on how you see the future. You agree and compromise on things that really matter – living in the suburbs, having kids, enriching family values and the like.
Every relationship goes through issues and problems. The goal is not a relationship that has no issues or problems but to have a relationship that can face these issues and problems well. Since a relationship involves two people, making the relationship work depends on both people involved in the relationship. It is never just the problem of one person. At the start of a relationship, the pheromone advantage may prevent issues and problems from coming up but as time goes by, human pheromones will not be able to solve your problems for you.
Many couples, especially after trying to solve their issues and problems on their own, decide to have couples counseling to help them deal better. However, some couples or maybe the other person in the relationship, are not automatically receptive to having couples counseling. Below are just a few of the reasons why it is good to try.
- Have a neutral, third party to play referee and be a mediator. Discussing issues or problems that keep on coming up in the relationship is difficult. If something keeps on becoming a problem, then you have probably reached a point where you will discuss it in the same way, manner, and perspective. Having someone to help direct your discussion is a good way to see the issue in a different perspective.
- Improve communication. People who offer couples counseling may not know everything there is to know when it comes to relationships but they can offer various ways you can communicate better with your partner. In almost any issue or problem, communication plays a key role in resolving it. Couples counseling is not designed to solve your issues and problems for you, but it can arm you with communication tools and skills so that the two of you can address your issues and problems better.
- Work in progress. A relationship takes a lot of hard work and going to couples counseling is just one way of working on it. For busy couples, having regular couples counseling is one way to ensure that they are facing the issues and problems that they have in their relationship instead of getting lost amidst their busy lives. Unfortunately, even minor issues and problems result in a serious strain in a relationship. Having counseling is a good way to continue working on these minor issues and problems that are often put aside because of other more important and pressing things.
Thanks to the movies like The Graduate and the TV series Cougar Town, a younger guy dating an older woman is not such an unusual situation nowadays. Being called a cougar is not a bad thing anymore in this day and age and with popular cougars like Demi Moore, many young men find them very attractive.
The appeal of older women cannot be attributed to human pheromones alone. Although some may say that a younger guy-older woman relationship may answer the question on how do pheromones work, it cannot be denied that some older women have a certain appeal to younger men. They seem wiser, more sensual, and more self-assured than younger women so some guys prefer to date someone older.
Naturally, dating an older woman will have its own unique set of challenges. Below are some tips for guys who prefer to date an older woman.
- Be confident. If you are the type of guy who cannot decide for himself, shy, and clingy, then dating an older woman is not for you. Older women will not be bothered with men who would like to be mothered; they prefer someone who is assertive, confident, and self-assured.
- Treat her as an equal. Do not make your age difference an issue for your relationship. Instead, treat her as an equal in everything. Never refer to her as a cougar and best not to point out that she is much older than you.
- Respect her. Every girl, no matter the age, deserves respect. But older women will not tolerate any disrespect. These women have experienced a lot and gone through a lot in their lives, probably more than your share of stuff, and respect is something they will expect from their guy.
- Know what you want in life. An older woman is probably aware of what she wants in her life and she will be turned off with a guy who does not know what he wants in life. It is important that you have figured out your goals for your future and you have focus. Older women do not like uncertainty and this applies to men that have many issues in their lives.
- Don’t try to change her. It is the doom of your relationship if you so much as think about changing her. Older women are set in their ways and will not appreciate being changed by a younger man.